i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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