Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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