This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
