I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
