I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
