dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We had to coat check the pizza.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
