True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Mom said you looked used
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
