Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize