anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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