I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
