Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
i think im in europe. pls send help
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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