In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
