Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
