surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
