i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
