He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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