I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
