dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize