Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
