I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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