I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
