Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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