I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
