dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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