I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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