Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
