Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
