Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
