Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
