remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
