When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Bang-toberfest begins!!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
