dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
