Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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