You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize