Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
