I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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