is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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