Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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