I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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