he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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