this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
