god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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