It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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