How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
