Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
