I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
