I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
