Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
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I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
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I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I am available for nakedness
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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