dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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