Rock
Scissors
Fuck
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
