did you get engaged???
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
