u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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