do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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