ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
