The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize