I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
