The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
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Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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