The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
