My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
