i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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