I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize